The Hidden Secret to Effective Time Management
I love all the time management tips: routines, planning your day, time blocking… but they won’t work for some people until the root of their time management problem is solved: a deep desire to serve others outweighing their desire to prioritize non-people-related tasks.
For many, the core issue isn’t the lack of a solid strategy but the struggle with being *overly* accommodating. It’s a classic case of putting everyone else’s needs before your own, which can sabotage even the best-laid plans.
Before diving into the plethora of time management strategies, take a moment to reflect. Are you consistently sacrificing your tasks to help others? If so, the first step is learning to set boundaries. It’s about finding a balance between being helpful and ensuring you have the time to focus on what’s important to you.
Remember the quadrants?
We’ve all heard about the Eisenhower Matrix for prioritizing tasks and managing time.
Urgent and important tasks need to happen ASAP.
Important but not urgent can be scheduled.
NOT urgent and NOT important need to NOT be done.
But that last one… urgent but not important?
It took me a while to understand how something could be urgent but not important until I realized… those are tasks that are urgent and important to someone else, and they put that urgency onto you. For those of us who love people and tend to be overly accommodating, these tasks often disrupt our entire day, causing things we deem as important but not urgent to be put off for these more urgent tasks. Someone else’s urgency.
I see this urgency often come from:
Arbitrary deadlines someone else sets (or you set) that are just made up and can often be easily changed but cause unnecessary urgency in the meantime.
Assumptions about someone else’s schedule—perhaps a boss gives you a task that you assume (because it’s your boss) takes priority over everything else, or a client wants to see a house and you assume they mean after 9-5 “normal” working hours. These assumptions create unnecessary urgency.
Someone makes a mistake and needs your help fixing it. Their anxiety and urgency are therefore disrupting your schedule and flow. This creates urgency that isn’t necessary for you to bear.
Another common pitfall is saying "yes" immediately without taking the time to review your schedule. This habit can lead to overcommitment and stress, making it even harder to manage your time effectively. Instead, practice pausing before agreeing to new requests. Pausing to say "let me get back with you" or "let me check my schedule" will buy you some time for reflection, evaluation, and prioritization. Give yourself the space to check your calendar and assess your current workload. This simple change can prevent you from becoming overwhelmed and help you prioritize your own tasks better.
Being aware that this is your tendency goes a long way. Pausing to say "let me get back with you" or "let me check my schedule" will buy you some time for reflection, evaluation, and prioritization. If you cannot help, that’s okay. You have many commitments and priorities that need you at your best. If you can help but need assistance, that's okay too. Find some help in managing your load.
When someone pops an urgent task onto your matrix, ask these questions:
1. When is the deadline for this?
2. What should I stop doing to focus fully on this?
3. I am available to work on this (or have this conversation, or show you this house) at 3:00 today or 9am tomorrow. Which works best for you?
Being aware that this is your tendency goes a long way. Once you’ve established these boundaries, you’ll find that the time management tips will finally start to click. You’ll be able to plan your day, block your time, and stick to your routines without feeling the constant pull to prioritize everyone else over yourself.
So, if you’ve been struggling with time management, consider this: maybe it’s not about finding a new strategy, maybe it’s about being aware of your tendency to overly accommodate and finding ways to serve others without disrupting your own priorities.
